Overcoming Perfectionism as an Athlete in Colorado - Tips from a Denver Therapist
Colorado is a haven for outdoor sports enthusiasts. It’s woven into the culture of the front-range cities - on weekends and weekdays alike, you can reliably count on encountering dozens of trail runners in the flatirons of Boulder, Greenwood Village’s Highland Canal Trail being packed, or cyclists and joggers whizzing by you on a walk through Denver’s Wash Park. Athletes and outdoor lovers are drawn from all over the country to live in places like Denver, Boulder and Colorado Springs. Boulder county boasts at least 70 olympians live there due to the culture that is so supportive of athletics, in addition to the ability to train at high altitude. For many people, the connection to nature and exercise is hugely beneficial for both their physical and mental health. But sometimes, being surrounded by fellow athletes everywhere you look can bring up feelings of pressure, competition and perfectionism.
Perfectionism and Burnout in Colorado Endurance Sports
Many people move to Colorado to participate in outdoor sports, and it can feel like constantly signing up for races, chasing PRs (personal records) and planning workouts is “making the most” of life here. But these things can quickly turn into obsessions. Because endurance sports are so baked into the culture and lifestyle of many Coloradans, it can sometimes be hard to separate athletic performance from identity and self-worth.
Perfectionism is defined as setting excessively high standards for yourself, usually combined with an overly critical self-evaluation. Athletes who deal with perfectionism struggle to feel satisfied with their performance, often pushing themselves to the point of burnout or physical injury. If they don’t meet their goals, they experience feelings of guilt and shame. When athletic performance is tied to self-worth, it can feel like if you don’t get your best time, meet your distance goals or finish the race, you’re a failure.
Athletes and Mental Health
Despite the overall positive correlation between exercise and mental health, for people who identify as athletes, the relationship can be a little bit more complicated. When athletes struggle with perfectionism, the focus during workouts shifts from deriving a sense of joy or present-moment awareness to measuring your performance. If you’re not feeling your best or are nursing an injury, you might even start beating yourself up with negative self-talk. Perfectionism is not in itself a mental health diagnosis, but is connected to other conditions like depression, anxiety, OCD and ADHD. One study on ultramarathoners found that 20% screen positive for depressive symptoms, and another study on athlete’s mental health found that 30-60% experience anxiety.
The Role of Fitness Trackers
In the endurance sports world, fitness tracker apps like Strava have become very popular, and are unique in that they blend fitness tracking with social media. Workouts that are tracked from your smartwatch or phone are then uploaded and shared with friends on the app. Many people report finding them helpful to motivate themselves, track their workouts and hold themselves accountable. Other benefits include allowing users to build a sense of community and strengthen social connections with people who you share interests with. But while some people find this fun or motivating, others report that it enhances their sense of competition or anxiety.
In recent research on this topic, some athletes reported feeling a sense of insecurity about posting their workout, or pressure to present it in a certain way. This pressure made them feel like they had to hide data that they considered undesirable, or write comments to explain if they were sick or exercising with a partner, implying that this slowed them down. Some users find that Strava can “ultimately transform personal workouts into performative acts for public validation”. It’s important to be mindful of the pros and cons of fitness tracker use, especially in a place like Colorado where using them is part of the culture. Sharing workouts online can help you to feel more connected and allow you to hype up friends who are tackling their fitness goals. It can also fuel comparison, competition and feelings of inadequacy.
Overcoming Unhealthy Perfectionism in Sports
For athletes who are prone to perfectionism, there is hope. Here are some tips for dealing with perfectionism as an athlete:
Focus on effort over outcome
While setting goals for yourself can be helpful to motivate and hold yourself accountable, it’s important to be flexible and recognize that the outcome (whether that’s speed, distance or winning medals) isn’t the most important thing when it comes to sports. Connect to why you do this in the first place - if endurance sports are something you truly love, allow yourself the joy of trying to be present during your workout, taking in the beautiful Colorado scenery and rewarding yourself for the effort you put in.
Practice self compassion
Be mindful of your inner dialogue, and the words you’re telling yourself if you face challenges during your workout or don’t make some of your fitness goals. What would you tell a friend in your situation? Making an effort to treat yourself with the same compassion you would show others in your life can help put things into perspective, and remind yourself that you have value outside of your athletic performance.
Find balance in your life
When sports start to take up too much space in your life, it can put more pressure on your performance. It’s important to balance out your interest in outdoor exercise with other things - being with family and friends, taking on a new project at work, or making time for a different hobby like gardening or pottery. When exercise starts taking up less mental space, it will be easier to not put as much weight on your performance.
Connect to other values and identities
What are the things that are important to you besides being an athlete? What other roles do you play in your life? If being an athlete is the only identity you have, it makes sense that each performance will be so high-stakes. Are you a caring partner? Hardworking colleague? Doting daughter or passionate chef? Reminding yourself of these other parts of identity can help you to remember your strengths and connect to feeling worthy in the face of failure.
Celebrate all progress
Progress doesn’t always happen in a straight line, and often not at the pace we hoped for. Any progress is progress that deserves to be celebrated, whether that’s on your own or with loved ones. Come up with a ritual to reward yourself after a hard workout, especially if you are going through an injury or life transition.
Refrain from comparison
Remember that every person, body and life is different. Social media apps can allow you to compare yourself to the top athletes, who make up such a small percentage of the general population. Surrounding yourself with elite athlete’s workouts can create an alternate reality where your own accomplishments don’t measure up. Be mindful of this, and if you choose to use social fitness tracker apps, try to focus on empowerment and community building as goals. Make sure to “follow” friends of all ability levels, to remind yourself that all levels of physical activity are something to be celebrated.
Endurance Sports, Perfectionism and Motherhood
Female athletes who want to start families have a tough choice to make. Pregnancy and childbirth significantly change the way our bodies are able to perform, and this is something that many female athletes struggle with. Factors including (but not limited to) hormonal changes, having a lower center of gravity, changes in muscle mass, breathing capacity and changes to the pelvic floor make it incredibly difficult to keep up the same level of athletic training and performance as pre-pregnancy. Many athletes preparing to become mothers struggle with these changes, especially those who deal with perfectionism, or those for whom being an athlete is a major part of their identity. It can also be tougher to make time for fitness and exercise after giving birth, and many female athletes are torn between their desire to pursue their workout goals and mom guilt.
In addition to the above tools, it is so important for female athletes in this season of life to treat themselves with compassion, allow for a shift in their goals during this time and work together with their partners to make space for exercise in their lives. It’s ok to set new goals for yourself, rather than fixating on what you achieved pre-baby. And all bodies and lifestyles are different, so focus on what goals feel realistic for you, rather than comparing yourself to other women in their pregnancy and postpartum journeys.
Perfectionism Therapy for Athletes
For a lot of athletes who struggle with perfectionism, this way of thinking has been with you for most of your life. Maybe you connect it to a rigid upbringing where there was no room for failure, or family members and coaches had very high expectations for you. Maybe you grew up in a chaotic environment where your athletic performance felt like the one thing that was in your control. While the above coping tools can be helpful, sometimes it’s really important to work together with a trained therapist for perfectionism to process these experiences and work to un-learn lessons that have been with you for many years. Perfectionism often develops as a coping tool, and serves a purpose at that time. But when it turns into depression or anxiety, puts you at risk for injury or leads to burnout, it’s no longer working for you.
Therapy for perfectionism can help you learn to be kinder to yourself, bring more balance into your life and feel less afraid of failure. Root to Rise Therapy treats perfectionism in athletes located in Denver, Boulder and throughout all of Colorado. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation.
Other Services at Root to Rise Therapy:
Other mental health services at Root to Rise Therapy include Therapy for Anxiety, Therapy for Perfectionism, Therapy for People-Pleasing, Cultural Identity Counseling, ADHD Therapy, Counseling for Moms and Postpartum Counseling. I see clients located inColorado, New York and New Jersey. Contact me to learn more about how I can help you overcome anxiety and reclaim your life!
