New Parent Anxiety: How Postpartum Therapy in Denver Can Help

All new parents have been there at some point - the Googling during late night feedings, messaging the pediatrician with pictures of your baby’s poop (to make sure it’s “normal”!) or panicking over whether or not you installed the carseat properly. Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook, and even for folks who had a lot of experience with kids before having a baby, it feels different when all of a sudden you and your partner are solely responsible for a living being’s survival. For those of us without any such experience, the first few days, weeks and months of having a newborn can feel even more overwhelming, terrifying or paralyzing. At play are not only hormones related to the end of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding, but the lack of sleep and sudden change of routine and responsibility can really mess with us. New parent anxiety can be really rough, and most parents go through it at some point in the first few months of their child’s life. It is such a normal part of the transition to parenthood, but when it starts to feel all-encompassing, it can really interfere with your ability to care for yourself, your partner and new baby.

What is “New Parent Anxiety”?

For new parents who experience anxiety, it can show up in a lot of different ways.  Here are some examples of what new parent anxiety can feel like:

• Constant worry, intrusive thinking or anxiety spirals related to your baby’s safety and health

• Feeling frequently compelled to check things like your baby’s breathing, temperature or food intake, even when there are no concrete reasons to be concerned about this 

• Struggling to sleep even when your baby is sleeping, often due to racing thoughts or worries

• Feeling scared to leave the house, be away from your baby or take your baby outside

• Struggling to enjoy moments of calm and connection with your baby due to being preoccupied with worries

• Seeking constant reassurance from internet searches or frequent messages to your pediatrician

• Not wanting to be around other people for fear of them judging your parenting skills

• Difficulty letting go of control or allowing others, even your partner, to care for your baby

• Experiencing panic attacks or physical symptoms of anxiety like racing heartbeat, tightness in your chest or restlessness

• Irritability and/or increased conflict with your partner

If you’re saying “whoa, are you reading my mind?!” you’re not alone.  Research suggests that up to 41.9% of new parents experience anxiety in the month after a new baby’s birth.  While many new parents experience one or several of these feelings from time to time, if many of these statements resonate with you, starting counseling for new parents in Denver can help.

Postpartum Anxiety

For the mother or birthing parent, anxiety after having a baby is usually connected to the sharp drop in pregnancy hormones after you give birth, which can cause mood swings, depression and intense anxiety.  Hormonal fluctuations continue throughout the first year postpartum during weaning from breastfeeding, which may happen abruptly or very gradually as your baby starts taking in more solid food.  Compounded with sleep deprivation, role adjustments and other stress related to caring for a newborn, it’s no wonder so many women experience postpartum anxiety - as many as 34.5% in the first 6 months postpartum.  Postpartum anxiety can also show up in the form of postpartum OCD, where the mother or birthing parent experiences persistent intrusive thoughts or mental images related to their baby, usually of a distressing nature.  The person will then engage in compulsive behaviors to ease their discomfort such as counting, checking, sterilizing, etc.  Postpartum anxiety and OCD can be extremely upsetting for the birthing parent experience these symptoms.  The good news is, postpartum anxiety therapy can help.

Dads Get Anxiety Too!

Believe it or not, men actually experience changes in hormones after becoming parents as well - their testosterone levels decrease as their focus shifts from “mating” to caring for their young.  These hormonal shifts can be linked to increases in anxiety or changes in mood, and about 1 in 10 new dads experience depression or anxiety after becoming a parent.  Unique stressors that dads or non-birthing parents face include:

• Feelings of helplessness related to not being able to participate in feedings if the newborn is exclusively breastfed, or if their partner is struggling mentally

• Feelings of guilt or sadness over having to return to work earlier and having less time to bond with their new family

• Pressure to provide financially if their partner is taking unpaid leave or has left their job

• Feeling neglected or disconnected from their partner as their focus has shifted to caring for the newborn

• Fear of not being a good father

• Difficulty adjusting to their new role

The Sundown Scaries

Sometimes, anxiety for new parents shows up in the form of the “sundown scaries” - a feeling of anxiety or dread that worsens throughout the evening as bedtime approaches.  With the unpredictable sleep schedule of a newborn, it can be hard not to worry about the potential for lack of sleep, hours of crying or feeding challenges that happen at night.  And many times, when bedtime rolls around you’re still exhausted from not sleeping well the night before!  It can be really hard to sit with the feelings of overwhelm, fear and dread connected to bedtime routines in the first few months of your baby’s life.  Talking to a postpartum anxiety therapist can help you to get a better understanding of these patterns, identify ways to cope and feel more in control.  

How Postpartum Therapy in Denver Can Help

Working with a postpartum anxiety counselor in Denver can make a huge difference in managing new parent anxiety.  A trained therapist can help you to change your relationship to intrusive and anxious thoughts, so that they feel like they have less power over you.  Uncertainty, discomfort and doubt are all parts of the new parent journey, and therapy can help you to learn skills to tolerate these feelings, rather than getting dragged into an anxiety spiral when things feel unpredictable or scary.  Postpartum therapy can help you to gain a deeper understanding of the hormonal changes going on in your body, and the relationship to your mood and anxiety.  Knowledge is power, and understanding what is going on in your body can help you to be kinder to yourself, judge yourself less and no longer feel like there is something “wrong” with you or your baby.  

Counseling for New Parents in Denver

As a new parent, all you want is to enjoy this special time with your new baby and growing family.  Sometimes, anxiety can get in the way.  Counseling for new parents in Denver will help you learn present moment awareness techniques to allow you to help you get out of your head and make the most of this precious time in your life.  Working with a postpartum counselor can help you to learn to communicate more effectively with your partner, set realistic expectations and make sense of this new role that both of you are adjusting to.  Your therapist can help connect you to mental health resources for new parents to build your support network. If you’re struggling with anxiety as a new parent, you’re not alone.  Getting help is the best thing for you and your new family.  Reach out today for a free consultation with a postpartum anxiety therapist.

Other Services at Root to Rise Therapy:

Other mental health services at Root to Rise Therapy include Therapy for Anxiety,  Therapy for Perfectionism, Therapy for People-Pleasing, Cultural Identity Counseling, ADHD Therapy, Counseling for Moms and Postpartum Counseling.   I see clients located inColorado, New York and New Jersey.  Contact me to learn more about how I can help you overcome anxiety and reclaim your life!